It’s not all-about-craig.blog…but

Sir Edmund Hilary climbing Everest, Sir Roger Bannister breaking the 4-minute mile, and who can forget Brian Lara with 400 Test runs against England.  All are looked upon as being great sporting achievements until April 6^th 2019. I hear ya!, what about Manchester United’s treble in 1999 or Sir Steve Redgrave’s 5 Olympic golds – Errr NO, what about my first TON, not speed but distance.  Now I’m not one to be considered as having an over-inflated opinion of oneself, but just in case you missed it – I recorded it for your visual pleasure, turn the volume up and ENJOY.

Now that I have ticked off my second milestone after diving in at the deep end of Corby’s swimming pool with my pyjamas on to retrieve a rubber brick (got a certificate for that one).  I would like to take my global audience through some of the finer points of cycling etiquette.

Classic one-liners. ‘Never sacrifice style for speed’, ‘If someone finds me collapsed on the road, please pause my Garmin’ and my personal favourite ‘Training is like wrestling a bear – you don’t stop just because you’re tired’. 

Now a few terms. Bonk, a phrase used by some Casanova in Bips (Corby’s premier nightclub) NO its used for hitting the wall and not in a Chris Froome style, come on. Cassette, an old school device used for recording the Top 40 off Radio One on a Sunday night NO but a cluster of sprockets on your bike and finally Fred, is it a boring name for a man NO but an amateur, less experienced cyclist and for the ladies it’s Doris.

Oh, and I would like to take this opportunity to put to bed a conundrum that has vexed the cycling fraternity for years, the collective noun for cyclists – its a Constipation, a constipation of cyclists WHY because you can’t pass them easily!

Finally. For those who grew up in the ’80s, the theme tune from Channel 4’s coverage of the Tour de France was written by Pete Shelley (RIP) of The Buzzcocks, the band is best known for their single ‘Ever Fallen in Love’ – should get you in the mood for the Tour!

And in the immortal words of The Two Ronnies “So it’s goodnight from me and its goodnight from him.”

PS: I did not want to overshadow my first ton but I have added my first Camp Quality qualifier, ‘The Mail Run’ as well. Hard going as I got leg cramps in the last 20ks but a friend of mine introduced me to magnesium powder, adding it to my water bottle with the line “the first one’s free!” – I never questioned why Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” was playing in the background.