It’s 2020, not 1955…

It was Australia Day on the 26^th and Gods Own Country has been on fire for about eight months now.  18.6 million hectares of bush land has been consumed by flames, that’s ¾ of Great Britain up in smoke.  Over 2,600 homes destroyed with 32 fatalities and an estimated billion wild animals have perished.  That said when the unimaginable happens the best side of human nature shines through, strangers helping others, firefighters, volunteers, the Army Reserve and overseas crews all putting their own lives on the line for others – Well done Australia and its friends, true Mateship.

…now for January’s blog.

On the 3rd of June 1985 it happens, an event that would change our lives forever, 1000ks4aCause, no you eejit, Back to the Future was released.  Did you know it grossed over $381 million worldwide making it the highest-grossing film in 1985.  Winning the Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation, the Saturn Award for Best Science Fiction Film and the Academy Award for Best Sound Effects Editing (whatever that is, sounds like a filler to me!).  It also received three Academy Award nominations, five BAFTA nominations and four Golden Globe nominations – NOT TOO BAD!

Directed by Robert Zemeckis, produced by Steven Spielberg and written by Zemeckis and Bob Gale, it starred Michael J Fox as the teenager Marty McFly who travels back to 1955 in a time-travelling DeLorean invented by his mate Emmett ‘Doc’ Brown, played by Christopher Lloyd.  Well, Marty meets his future parents and becomes the love interest of his mother, so he has to set his mother up with his future father, George McFly by getting George to give Biff a slap – now I condone all forms of violence but needs must in this case.  Marty leaves his future Mum and Dad to get on with things and let nature take its course and returns to 1985 safe in the knowledge that he will end up being born.  That’s the plot my global audience but there is a trilogy so great fun for all the family or a chance to reminisce if you’re in my age group.

Hey numpties! Don’t get distracted by trying to remember who you snogged in the pictures during the film but refocus and did you notice the subtle 1000ks4aCause drop.  2020 brings you a Back to the Future analogy in the form of 1000ks4aCause (pure genius!) under the charitable foundation Events4aCause.  Due to a misalignment in financial expectations, the big tutu-wearing King and Queen (who dresses normally by the way) have set up a charitable foundation for like-minded cyclist to challenge themselves against the open road.

Well, Camp Quality may have decided to do their own cycling thing, but that doesn’t mean you sit around feeling sorry for yourself or start contemplating your navel NO you start a foundation to raise money for local causes.  So I have registered for the ride and will have to see if I’m selected. If I am (let you know in February), the funds raised go to Camp Quality and Harry’s House – just because you don’t agree on something doesn’t mean you throw your teddies out your pram or take your ball with you just because a decision doesn’t go your way. NO.  You make sure that two great causes benefit from funds raised from 30 extraordinary cyclists pedaling 1,042ks with 6,638m of Google elevation (don’t get me started on King and elevation) – that’s what you do.

So, this year’s blog, what can you expect my global audience of 7.7 billion people, of which 15 are now Followers. Slight detour, did you know that 7.7 billion represents about 6.5% of the total number of people ever born, also North America had the fastest increase in population with 31-fold by the way.  Anyway, back to the blog, you can expect cycling stuff, QPR updates, subtle 80s references, weird facts and topics of interest in a comedic style of writing that makes complete sense to me.  If you are new to my blog, I would advise starting at the beginning as I liken ‘A Newbies’ blog’ to the Slingshot in Orlando. The world’s tallest slingshot ride at over 390ft or 672 Cavendish bananas stacked end to end, that catapults you at a force of 3.5Gs.  It’s not that my blog is an adrenaline rush, but that its compulsory to strap yourself in and be warned there is a tendency for my readers to pass out with excitement.

So, January or if you were around in ancient Rome, Janus. The God of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages and endings.  Depicted as having two faces since he looks to the future and to the past.  Moving swiftly on

Cycling stuff: training has begun, and I have ridden 254ks with 1,995 of elevation this month which has been mainly to work but it’s a start.  So, what did I do in 2019, well…..

• I rode 104 times, spending 217 hours in the saddle.
• The longest day was Saturday 3^rd August, blogged on the 14/08/19 as ‘A waddle of King Penguins’.
• Cycled a total of 4,167ks or 26,304,951,204 (that’s 26 Billion) Cavendish bananas placed end to end.
  • That number of bananas would weigh 4.5 Tons, costing $13,389.30 from Woolworths.
  • It would take 109,603,963 Cavendish plants to yield that many bananas.
• I climbed 51,316m of elevation, that’s 5.8 Mt Everest’s.
• The highest I have climbed on a bike was 1,495m, blogged on the 19/07/19 as ‘My First Bonk’.
• I reached 78ks down hill on the Great Dividing Range, blogged on the 12/09/19 as ‘78ks on a bike’.

QPR updates: the mighty Queens Park Rangers currently occupy 14^th position in the English Championship, second tier just below the Premiership.  They haven’t sold Eberechi Eze to Spurs or Bright Osayi-Samuel to Southampton which is good, we beat Cardiff 6-1, lost to Brentford 3-1, beat Leeds 1-0 and lost to Blackburn 2-1.  A good month for the Superhoops as 6pts out of a possible 12 isn’t bad, so it is worth staying up to 2 AM on a Sunday, yes 2 in the bloody AM my global audience without waking up the entire household when we stick one in the back of the old onion bag.  To give you a little taste of what its like at Loftus Road, the home of QPR, press play, close your eyes and imagine you’re there.

Topic of Interest: it started in June 2016 – the Brexit referendum.

SO, 51.9% of the Brits that voted decided that the United Kingdoms withdrawal from the European Union was the good thing.  The UK government formally announced the country’s withdrawal in March 2017 – then all the fun and games started and the world watched in amazement as the politicians robustly debated our exit plan.  Two bloody years later after Boris ‘Get Brexit Done!’ wins the second December election in history, the other one being in 1910, he gets Article 50 and his Brexit plan through Parliament meaning that we are out.  As the UK enters an 11 month ‘Transition’ period, here are some interesting facts….

• The first British prime minister got the job because King George could not speak English.
• The term ‘prime minister’ started out as an insult.
• Old Sarum, a constituency populated only by sheep had two MPs in parliament between 1708 to 1832.
• 10 Downing Street used to be number 5.

So there we are, January in a nutshell (or nutcase more like – Faulty Towers reference) and to finish things off my daughter sang at her end of year review, now I appreciate the Minister and I are slightly biased, but this performance made us very proud parents – ENJOY.