Arrr me hearties…

Fifteen men on the Dead Man’s Chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!, don’t recognise it, how about a one-legged seaman with a parrot on his shoulder growling Arrr me hearties. Come on people its Treasure Island (gordon bennet its on the pic above – numpties!). Written by Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson it was full of buccaneers, buried gold, maps with a big ‘x’ marks the spot and schooners – Skippies, that’s pirate for a ship, not the glass beer comes in. If you haven’t read it, you should but here as some interesting facts about the book,

The Map came from a drawing during a rainy summer day in the Scottish Highlands – the sketch resembled a fat dragon standing up.
Stevenson was 31 when he wrote the book, jobless and financially dependent on his father.
He wrote a chapter a day, and he completed the book with help from his wife and son.
It was initially entitled The Sea Cook
It first appeared under a pseudonym in a weekly journal in 18 weekly instalments.
Long John Silver was based on a friend of Stevenson’s called William Henley.
The violence within the book was termed shocking for the time
Long John Silver is one of the truly great characters in classic literature
There are more than 50 films and TV adaptations of Treasure Island including one from the Muppets

But the big question is, where is Treasure Island, well let me tell you, it’s a place in Stevenson’s imagination. With references to rum running and Mexican Indians it would indicate its somewhere along the Spanish Main. But why am I blogging about Pirates I hear you ask, well on September 19^th it was International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So to help you navigate your schooner through the murky underworld of cut throats and pressgangs here are some Pirate translations ye scurvy dog! – that’s not a compliment by the way

Ahoy! – energetic greeting
Avast Ye! – a request to stop what you are doing and listen
Aye! – Yes or I agree
Aye Aye! – I’ll take care of that
Land Ho! – is that land over there
Savvy? – are you familiar with
Shiver me timbers! – an expression of surprise
Heave Ho – instruction to put some effort into it

Avast Ye Bilge Sucking Scallywags Batten Down the Hatches as I know of a place that sends shivers down the spines of Pirates and strikes fear into the hearts of anyone that dares to sail the seven seas, Savvy!, Shiver Me Timbers Ye Landlubber I’m talking about Davey Jones locker. Yes, Davey Jones locker is the resting place of thousands of drowned sailors and the afterlife for seafarers and ships at the bottom of the ocean but who was Davy Jones. He was a publican of the Frog and Onion, a British pub where Davy would to get his customers drunk and imprison them in his locker only to sell them off to ship owners as slaves – my advice is don’t go to the Frog and Onion during Happy Hour and I got the pub name from Pirates of the Caribbean (I research so you don’t have to people).

Now there were no Jolly Rogers billowing (nautical term for flapping in the wind) during the Tour de France but there was a Devil jumping up and down wear socks with flip flops – clothing faux pas right there (slipped in a bit of GCSE French). So here is my view on the 107^th Tour de France. It started on Saturday 29^th August with 156km of open road consisting of three loops of the Nice region, and it persistently rained causing havoc, with nearly every rider taking a swan dive. Over the first week, it rained then it got hot, then windy, rained again….(there is a theme occurring) as the riders meandered through fantastic countryside as they headed towards the fecking ALPS!!

The Queens Stage can only be described as cycling cruelty of the highest order but great to viewing. 2304m above bloody sea level people in some places it was a 25% incline, putting that into perspective, it’s like putting a plank (shiver me timbers, ye be walking the plank ye scurvy bilge rats Arrrrr– couldn’t help myself) up your household stairs then cycling up it – but for 10ks! With riders taking swan divers all over the joint, riding up the side of mountains and hurtling down the other side at high speed they headed towards Paris where the finish line welcomes riders who can complete the greatest cycling race in the world. So, who’s who in the Peloton as they crossed the line on the Avenue des Champs-Elysées

Yellow Jersey: Tadej Pogacar for UAE TEAM EMIRATES

Green Jersey: Sam Bennett of DECEUNINCK – QUICK – STEP

Polka-Dot: Tadej Pogacar for UAE TEAM EMIRATES

Team: MOVISTAR

Time for some gratuitous advertising!

One thing the Tour de France can not be compared to was Wacky Races but in the first week it could have been. What a cartoon, first televised in September 1968 featuring 11 cars racing throughout North America hoping to win the title of the World’s Wackiest Racer but did you know it was inspired by the 1965 comedy The Great Race (Newbie fact right there people!). By the way, we named our first dog Muttley, after Dick Dastardly sidekick. Dastardly & Muttley were in the purple, rocket-powered car The Mean Machine (00), follow the bouncing ball people as this is where I jump to the greatest television show ever made, also first televised in September by the way.

The Banana Splits Adventure Hour or simply The Banana Splits. Created by Hanna-Barbera featuring a fictional rock band of four characters in red helmets – now they say if you can remember the ‘60s, you really weren’t there, well I recon Hanna-Barbera cannot remember the ‘60s. Anyway you had Fleegle on vocals and guitar, Bingo on drums, Drooper on bass and Snorky on keyboards – this is why you should not do drugs people! What a bloody laugh that show was and what a way to start your Saturday as it had music, live action and cartoons – life was simple back then and being a kid was fun!

The Banana Splits – MENTAL!!

Well the Championship is back on my global audience, yes, it’s the Come On URs section. The mighty Rs beat Forest 2-0, narrowly beaten by Coventry 3-2 then draw with Middleborough 1-1. Although early doors we sit 11^th in the table with 4pts and we have Sheffield Wednesday on Saturday – another Newbie Fact: the club was so named because on Wednesday’s the founding members had the day off work.

With that, I bid you farewell for another month and please be safe people, social distance as it saves lives, respect our front liners and for pity sake look after the oldies! – SAVVY!