Every feckin 5 minutes…

Guess what! It started as a Celtic harvest festival to celebrate friends and family that had past, but now it’s turned in to an evening where the bloody doorbell goes off every feckin 5 minutes.  To make matters worse when you answer, you’re confronted by scary little people shouting Trick or Treats dressed as witches, zombies or ghosts, but that’s Halloween for you!!  HALLOWEEN and for the purist., Hallowe’en is a contraction of Hallow’ Evening, regardless the bloody doorbell goes off every feckin 5 minutes.

Yes, it’s the 31^st of October and if you’re not familiar, that’s the night the bloody doorbell goes off every feckin 5 minutes.  Now I’m not some grumpy old sod with selective hearing during Halloween to save $5 on sweets but here is some free advice – get a pumpkin, scoop out the insides, hack a scary face into it, pour a load of sweets in, stick it between the doorbell and the scary little people with a feckin big sign saying help yourself as I’m scared of witches.  I know it’s just a bit of fun but here are some Newbie facts about Halloween

• Originally it was called Samhain which means ‘summers end’
• Sugar rationing halted Trick or Treating during WWII
• It’s the second-largest commercial celebration after Christmas
• 2020 will be the first Halloween full moon in 19 years – that’s globally people!
• The Monster Mash reached No1 in the charts in 1962 then again in 1973
• Harry Houdini died on Halloween in 1926
• The night before Halloween is called Mischief Night
• Adults usually dress as a witch, dogs as pumpkins but the most Googled costume in 2019 was Pennywise from Stephen King’s IT.
• Ten million pumpkins are grown in the UK. Of those, 95% are used at Halloween and then thrown away – creating 18,000 tonnes of food waste.

On the subject of pumpkins, there is a myth about Jack o’ Lanterns or as I like to refer to it as Jack carrying a pumpkin with a scary face hacked into it.  Get comfortable people. Well, Stingy Jack was a miserable old drunk who loved to play tricks on anyone and everyone.  One dark Halloween night, Jack ran into the Devil himself in a local pub.  Jack tricked the Devil by offering his soul for one last drink, The Devil agreed to turn himself into a sixpence to pay the bartender, but Jack snatched the coin and deposited it in his pocket, next to a silver cross – the Devil could not change himself back, and Jack refused to allow the Devil to go free until the Devil had promised not to claim Jack’s soul for ten years.

Fast forward ten years.  Jack again came across the Devil while out walking on a country road. The Devil tried collecting what he was due, but Jack thinking quickly, said, I’ll go, but before I do, will you get me an apple from that tree? The Devil, thinking he had nothing to lose, jumped up into the tree to retrieve an apple. As soon as he did, Jack placed crosses all around the trunk of the tree, thus trapping the Devil once again.  This time, Jack made the Devil promise that he would not take his soul when he finally died. Seeing no way around his predicament, the Devil grudgingly agreed.

When Stingy Jack finally passed away, he went to the Gates of Heaven but was refused due to his life of drinking.  So Jack went down to Hell to see the Devil and find out if he could gain entrance into the Gates of Hell, but the Devil kept his promise and would not let him enter, But where can I go? asked Jack, Back to where you came from! replied the Devil.

The way back to earth was windy and dark, so Stingy Jack pleaded with the Devil to at least provide him with a light to find his way.  As a gesture, the Devil tossed Jack an ember from the fires of Hell.  From that day, Stingy Jack was doomed to roaming the Earth, carrying a lantern, and went by Jack of the Lantern.

The ball hasn’t stopped bouncing yet people! Now I got the pumpkins with a scary face hacked into it from Jack o’ Lanterns (that an Irish accent right there) but this grumpy old sod loves the motion-stop animation film The Nightmare Before Christmas.  Did you know it was based on a poem written by Tim Burton who wanted to make it into a 30-minute television special, but Walt Disney got involved, and it turned into a film in 1993 that grossed $90m at the box offices and gained a cult following to boot!  People I give you Jack Skellington known as the Pumpkin King or Jack o’ Lanterns – my global audience the ball has stopped bouncing.

It’s time for some gratuitous advertising!   

It’s the Come On URs section.  The mighty Rs drew with Sheffield Wednesday 1-1 and with ex Premiership side Bournemouth 0-0, lost to Preston North End 2-0, the same to Barnsley 3-0 but the mighty Rs beat Cardiff 3-2.  My childhood team Queens Park Rangers are sitting 18^th with 10pts. Following the Rs can only be described as a rollercoaster ride, it has its ups, its downs and at times we just park the bus.  We played Barnsley, we started well, for 25 minutes anyway THEN it went downhill from there – we parked the bus!!  Now I love watching the mighty Rs especially at 2 in the bloody AM, and I will continue to do so because we have a lot of young players that are exciting to watch and when we’re good, we’re bloody good!!!

So, the ride, the whole point of this blog is to raise funds for kids and their families affected by a disease that doesn’t discriminate.  The Legends supported by their families are doing a 1000k bike ride to make a difference and by doing so are demonstrating what can only be described as the best side of human nature.  Here is the update on sponsorship, Cans 4 Kids has now raised $478, which is a lots of cans.  This blog is my way of raising valuable sponsorship for the ride so if you want to show your appreciation, please FOLLOW, at least LIKE it or even better sponsor me by clicking on the Camp Quality face below which will take you to my sponsorship page.

On the topic of cycling, I blog’ed the Tour De France, but the next big one is The Vuelta a Espana (that’s Spain by the way), it started in the Basque region, covering 2,897km in 18 stages before it finishes in Madrid on Sunday 8 November.  Now I was gobsmacked by the Queens stage in the Tour De France where the most significant incline was 25% but The Vuelta a Espana has 28% inclines all over the joint – it is a bloody cycling nightmare – respect!

Now, in the words of the comic genius known as Monty Python Flying Circus Now for something completely different.  When I was growing up I was compared to Timmy Mallett, now that is outrageous and I would say, harsh but I will admit Wacaday was great fun for kids

But did you know it was a spin-off holiday show from the Wide Awake Club.  Yes, Saturday 13th October 1984 was when it all started, it was live which was mental as they had kids in the studio.  This program had everything, comedy, games, celebrity guests, competitions and viewer interaction. Now Carol Vorderman did a science slot, as well as a history section, there was a spelling test called Bonk or Boob (sounds a bit dodgy nowadays) and Mike Myers featured heavy as a guest – well before he became a Hollywood star anyway (yes that Wayne’s World and Austin Powers people).  Now Mike Myers was not the star of the show and pales into insignificance when compared to

Oh yeah, baby (still on an Austin Powers theme) its Roland Rat.  It’s not a real rat people but a puppet.  Created, operated and voiced by David Claridge who used to work for Jim Henson by the way.  This rodent was bloody funny.  Roland lived beneath King’s Cross railway station, he has a little brother called Reggie and is in a loving relationship with Glenis, a guinea pig.  He has an over-enthusiastic self-appointed ‘number one ratfan’ called Kevin the Gerbil from Leeds and drives a bright pink 1953 Ford Anglia called the Ratmobile – now that what I call a real star.

With that, I bid you farewell for another month and please be safe people, social distance as it saves lives, respect our front liners and for pity sake look after the oldies! – SAVVY!