G’Day…

It is as predictable as night follows day.  Every January the whole of Oz debates the abolishment of Australia Day, this year it was all about renaming it to Invasion Day.  Now I love it here, but the protests are getting daft.  I cannot change the past, but I can take a different view.  Strap yourselves in because it may get bumpy!!

The initial idea to transport criminals out of England to places as far away as we could is dated as far back as 1597.  The law in question was entitled An Acte for Punyshment of Rogues, Vagabonds and Sturdy Beggars. It stated that Obdurate idlers shall be banished out of this Realm and shall be conveyed to such parts beyond the seas as shall be assigned by the Privy Council.

We started with the New World or the States to you and me, but they got hacked off with the arrangement as it was beginning to look too much like hard work.  Therefore outsourcing the problem became challenging, so we brought this little community project in-house.  The solution to save England from rogues, vagabonds and sturdy beggars was The Hulks.  No not Dr David Banner who turned into the green superhero published by Marvel comics but old naval troop carriers you Galah.  Now London had a fleet of old ships rotting at anchor along the Thames and other ports along the south coast, so we decided to put them to good use instead, floating prisons, win-win from an environmental perspective.

We dumped all our criminals in the Hulks, batten down the hatches and considered it someone else’s problem – what could go wrong.  Well, as the convict population grew on these uninhabitable ships, security and disease become serious issues.  As an aside my global audience, this very issue was raised in the book Great Expectations by Charles Dickens with the escape of Magwitch.  Anyway, back to the Hulks.  With prisoners jumping ship and being shot before they die a horrible death from something nasty, the powers that be decided to start shipping criminals off to somewhere remote.  The destination of choice being the vast and lonely land of Australia and so began the transportation of rogues, vagabonds and sturdy beggars, AGAIN.

Now I am not going to go through the obvious but shed some light on the unfortunate soles who ended up in Oz

• 20-year-old Elizabeth Thakery was given seven years for stealing five handkerchiefs in 1787 but on the up side became the first white woman to set foot in Oz
• John Kelly, who was given seven years for stealing two pigs in Tipperary had a famous son – John was the father of Ned Kelly
• The Machine Breakers were a group of farmers who disagreed with farming machinery, so they rioted – 475 of these farmers were sent to New South Wales
• Finally, William Buckley was the first convict to successfully escape and given up for dead but he lived in an Aboriginal community for years.

From the second I landed in this fine country via an Airbus A380 taking 24hrs and not three months as it did on the First Fleet, I have been known as a POME.  I do not mind as it’s a term of endearment, and it’s all done in good spirit and banter, but POME stands for Prisoner of Mother England.  At this juncture some facts about the First Fleet, or to be more precises the cargo that was transported (don’t like to keep referring to them as convicts) included

• 8 Sailors
• 6 Carpenters
• 5 Shoemakers
• 5 weavers
• 4 Watermen
• 3 Ivory Turners
• 2 Bricklayers
• 2 Masons
• And 47 other trades

Other trades included several Chefs/Cooks which if you follow the bouncing ball who mean that most of today’s cuisine here in Oz can come from humble beginnings – PRISON FOOD!

Calm down Skippies I was only joking. It remains that the First Fleet established what Australia is today, a fantastic but cosmopolitan place to live and to bring up your family – so AUSTRALIA celebrate diversity and let us all have a day off from trying to change history, embrace it on the 26^th and be AUSTRALIAN.

It’s on PEOPLE.  With my registration paid in full, I am pleased to inform my global audience that 1000ks4Kids will be happening this SEPTEMBER!!!  In the immortal words of Edmund Blackadder, I’ve got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel

The ride starts on the 9^th with

• Lithgow to Bathurst – 72km
• Bathurst to Cowra – 120km
• Cowra to Harden – 115km
• Harden to Grenfell – 92km
• Grenfell to Molong – 136km
• Molong to Dubbo – 118km
• Dubbo to Gulong – 101km
• Gulong to Merriwa – 109
• Meriwa to Muswellbrook – 75km
• Muswellbrook to Rutherford – 87

The eagle-eyed mathematicians will add the ks up to 1025, but 1025ks 4 Kids does not have the same ring to it REGARDLESS you now have the opportunity to participate.  Click on the CampQuality logo above, sponsor my ride and raise funding for kids doing it tough.  You will be contributing to the funds required to run a weekend camp where kids can get away from the struggles of Cancer and be a kid again.  As a rider, the kids see us as Ordinary people doing something Extraordinary – be part of that and doing something for someone else – kids and their families affected by a disease that does not discriminate

Or if you are an organisation work with me, you can do what

Now SOCK GUY is an American company who parcelled up about 12 pairs of socks and shipped them to me here in OZ.  So if you’re up for it get in contact and ship me stuff and I will convert that into funding a camp for kids doing it tough – pretty thought-provoking!!

It’s time for Come On URs, this month I am not going to do the regular update as I found the Christmas period from a football perspective too traumatic.  Well, the mighty Rs have played some fantastic football and some Sunday League stuff as well.  We ended November in 15^th place (mid-table) with 17pts today we are 17^th with 30pts.  OK but we are only a couple of points from the relegation zone which is frightening – Onwards & Upwards well more upwards if you’re asking.

I got my replacement Fly6, and I am not going there as I will only get upset.  With that, I bid you farewell for another month and please be safe people, social distance as it saves lives, respect our front liners and for pity sake look after the oldies! – SAVVY!

Oh, here is my first training ride – enjoy!