The world has gone…

MAD, stark raving bonkers. I’m not going to talk about wars or the apparent lunacy that is currently going on around the world BUT showers and how they changed London. Now for my septic readers (septic tank is cockney for Americans), which is increasing, by the way, so big shout out to the Sceptics, please fasten your seatbelts (or safety belt in the good old US of A) as turbulence is expected, could flight attendants, please be seated.

San Francisco home of the Giants (who first played in New York but anyway minor detail), a fog called Karl (weird), two stray celebrity dogs called Bummer & Lazarus and an annual Masturbate-a-thon (family spectator sport for all ages right there). All can be found via a simple Google search, but all pale insignificantly compared to the showers in Alcatraz. Three shower dodgers called John & Clarence Anglin and Frank Morris escaped in 1962; they must have been shower dodgers because Alcatraz was the only federal prison in America to have hot showers. They were hot to prevent prisoners from acclimating to the cold temperatures of the San Francisco Bay as they tried to escape – sneaky but genius.

So, our pungent fugitives hopped over the wall of this famous prison, swam ashore and did a runner. Now that’s a prison break, by the way, because I know from swimming in the British channel as a kid that when that freezing water kisses the underneath of your scrotum, not only do the orchestral stalls shoot under your armpits to keep warm but you let out an involuntary scream that stops traffic. Anyway, I detracted, back to the shower dodgers. I reckon they found sanctuary in the darkest of alleys of San Fran’s underworld only to resurface as legitimate mobility as a service provider called UBER.

Now steady on Septics, let’s not reach for the pitch forks just yet; all I’m going to say is GREY SQUIRRELS anyway, back to Uber. Just like the native red squirrel harassed by the imported Grey ‘sceptic’ squirrel, the Knowledge is under threat by the imported ride-hailing app, Uber. Let me enlighten those who are blissfully unaware of the significance of this bouncing red ball. The knowledge has been around since 1865 (25 yrs before the Grey ‘sceptic’ squirrel arrived) where drivers were required by the Public Carriage Office (originally a branch of the Metropolitan Police) to know the area within a 6-mile radius of Charing Cross off by heart

To put the Knowledge into context. To pass, you need to memorise 320 routes, 25,000 streets and 20,000 landmarks, and it takes up to 4 years, split into seven stages such as a written exam & a suburban exam, laced with multiple interviews to pass. More importantly, you need to pass the Knowledge to become a London Taxi driver, you know those Black Cabs you jump into when you land at Heathrow. Anyway, the Knowledge will set you back £10k (about $18k Aussie and $12.5 sceptic) plus the cost of the cab itself, which is £70k for a cheap one

Now that a prospective cabbie has sold a kidney to become a Black Cab driver, you find that some scruffy herbert borrows his mum’s car, registers with Uber, and uses google maps to ferry sceptics to the Hilton residing whilst on summer vacation.  I tell you, the world has gone mad, stark raving MAD!

Staying with the theme of stark raving bonkers and its direct collation to my beloved QPR, who finished the season just above mid-table mediocrity, sacking the manager BUT WAIT FOR IT…next season will PAUSE (WTF!!!). For the first time in history, the season will PAUSE on November 12^th, two days before the Qatar World cup starts, then resume on December 10^th following the culmination of the group stages. MAD, stark raving bonkers.

Here is some more bonkers. Why is it that corporates, regardless of geography, allow INCOMPETENCE to prevail, stupidity gets promoted and employees with a moral compass get the bullet. I have gone mercenary as I want to work with good people plus the money is good, but my last boss was the Oxford dictionary definition of stupid. That isn’t what I am concerned about, what troubles me is that when stupid climbs the corporate ladder it kicks good people on the way up, damaging careers and I hate to see good people’s self-esteem kicked and punched until it gives in. I decided to leave my last contract, but I left behind full-timers trying to do the right thing, but stupidity had to lay the boot in. If you are a CEO, please take time out to return to the factory floor and talk to your employees and ask how they are doing and LISTEN. Together we can stop stupidity climbing the corporate ladder and ruining careers in the process.

I will not be leaving it so long to post another blog and if you are a Netflix producer and want to turn Badger & Batbottom into a mini-series just drop me a line. Before I wrap up this thrilling instalment of Badger and Batbottom, I will bring the curtain down on a clip of my daughter singing at a Mother’s Day concert.  Now keep in mind that she got a phone call on the Thursday night to perform on the Sunday, so she did a fantastic performance of a difficult song – well done Lo

With that, be safe people, respect our front liners, choose life and for pity’s sake, look after our children as they are the future! – SAVVY!

Nearly forgot. Happy 4^th of July my American friends, enjoy the day with the family!!!