You Sunk My Battleship, and it was my bloody Aircraft carrier. Most Sunday evenings would be filled with cries of frustration and bewilderment as, one by one, my Dad’s battleships were sunk by the younger version of myself. It’s 1976, and Britain is amidst a heatwave, technically a draught, as the peak temperature was 35.9°C, but I digress. It’s a sunny evening in Corby, I’m nine, and the famous WWI naval battle of Jutland is about to commence. I’m the blue team of the Royal Navy Grand Fleet under Admiral Sir John Jellicoe, and my Dad is in the red team of the German Navy High Seas Fleet under Vice-Admiral Reinhard Scheer.
Battleships, Ice Buckets and Fallen Heroes
At this juncture, I would like to point out that my Dad was unhappy that he was one German and secondly a Vice-Admiral, whereas his youngest child was British and an Admiral. Disregarding the diversionary tactics by the Vice-Admiral, the WWI Battle for Jutland commenced with the first casualty occurring after just three shots, where the Admiral successfully sunk a German Destroyer without British casualties.
Miss, Miss, Hit…the young Admiral is on the tail of a German battleship, with two additional hits, the German boat is dead in the water with one more hit needed to sink it. The Admiral turns his attention to a German Submarine spotted in the area. Miss, Miss, Hit, Hit, Hit, the sub is a goner. The Admiral focuses on a lonely Patrol Boat with two hits it is sent to Davey Jones’s Locker, then the Carrier with strategic intent, shots are fired, Hit, Hit, Hit and the Carrier is keeling to its starboard. With that, the Admiral swings around to finish off the stranded Battleship before putting the Carrier out of its misery.
The Battle for Jutland is over. The young Admiral is victorious, and the grumpy old Vice-Admiral cannot understand how he lost AGAIN. Well, I will let you into a secret, a secret I told my dear old Dad before he passed away. A confession that made my Dad smile and something we shared that made us both laugh.
Now the keen-eyed amongst my global audience may have noticed that I know the number of hits per class of boat within the board game Battleship. Well, I don’t, and I’m not a naval tactician, nor was I an Admiral in the making at the age of nine, but it was all down to my Dad’s reading glasses. Being short-sighted, my Dad wore glasses when playing Battleship, but what he never caught onto to was that I could see the position of all his ships in the reflection of those glasses. The reason why he never realised my cunning plan was that I made a few tactical misses followed by a near miss, then all over red rover. I let him win a few times, like birthdays or Father’s Day. He was my Dad by the way, and I have to keep him interested as there were bigger things at play, like the occasional bet for things like a bike upgrade, loose change or a lift somewhere. Some things are priceless, we had a chuckle, and I got a clip around the ear during his final hours, but it’s something I cherish – as someone said, all is fair in love and war.
I wish I could have one last game with the old man, but that’s the circle of life. I have fond memories that will always be with me and make me smile when times get hard. Another thing that has made me laugh recently making me think of my big brother Billy.
My big brother Badger is another one of my heroes, and I miss him being around with the typical Corby attitude and a refreshing look on life. He passed away on 21st November 2014 from Motor Neurone Disease. There are many ways to leave this world, but this one isn’t pleasant. That said, Billy would have loved this clip and laughed out loud over his pint of Guinness – enjoy
Talking of heroes, November marks 104 years since the end of World War One. The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month confirmed the armistice between Germany and the Allies, ending WWI. This year I did something different, and as I had the house to myself, I watched All Quiet on the Western Front. Not the original 1930 version but Netflix’s version that tells the story of Paul Bäumer, a young German soldier. I don’t really care for dubbed films, but this film had me from the minute it started. The first ten minutes brought a tear to my eye and put war into perspective. I enjoyed it if that is the right way to say it, not because it was a war film but because it opened my eyes to the Germans’ perspective of the same war and that these heroes were Husbands, Fathers, Brothers, Sons, Uncles or a shoemaker who could not read.
What scared me, though, was that about a month before, I saw the same trenches being lived in by Ukrainian soldiers talking about fighting through the winter against Russian soldiers in the next field, who were probably saying the same thing. They say history never repeats itself, but it does often rhyme. This film certainly sums this up, and the closing scene shows the war did little more than cost the lives of 17 million people for a few hundred yards of land.
Before I wrap up this reflective instalment of Badger and Batbottom, I have chosen a video from when I was a kid looking forward to Christmas – LEST WE FORGET
With that, be safe people, respect our front liners, choose life and look after each other for pity’s sake! – SAVVY
Badger & Batbottom 