Out on Parole…

In 1975, a famous alien abduction was made into a film titled The UFO Incident where Barney and Betty Hill claimed they were abducted by extra-terrestrials in rural New Hampshire on September 19^th, 1961.  The abduction came to be called the Hill Abduction and the Zeta Reticuli Incident because the couple stated they had been kidnapped by aliens who claimed to be from the Zeta Reticuli system.

Well, I think the MOFO’s in their UFO’s are back!

Why I hear you ask? Because my arse is killing me. However, I have uncovered some conflicting research around demographics and alien abductions.  Aliens don’t usually abduction humans over forty if they do, research has proven they tend to reject them.  Dr Jenny Randles states that it could be because people over the age of 40 are less likely to have hormonic or reproductive activity going on. So why does my backside feel like the aliens from the Zeta Reticuli system have abducted me in the middle of the night to do some weird-ass (excuse the pun) experiments on me – I conclude that Dr Jenny Randles is either telling porkies or I need a new saddle.

Fighting the pain lets discuss last night: Shared a room with my teammate who chucked himself in the ditch on Day 1 of the weekender and a new bloke who by the way is a bio hazard (nickname is Mendy).  It was an interesting night but first the fines and Jerseys, We got nothing but the female rider I saved from the Death Dive on the weekender by using the Fat Bloke as a cushion won the best rider of the day.  The fine system, I still have no idea what occurring, someone puts a Camp Quality collection bucket in front of you and your throw money in – it’s a charity orientated science.  Dishy did an emotional presentation about a family he is the companion for, thankfully the kids in remission, and I bought a pair of cycling socks she had made – rare only 30 made this time around.

Today’s plan as the Legends cycle from Casino to Grafton.

• Get up at 5:30, another lie in.
• Breakfast done by 06:30
• Start rolling at 06:45.
• Break every 25ks
• Lunch at some place by a river – didn’t even have a sign post.
• Roll into Grafton.

Elevation map, where yellow is FLAT

Slept well and 5:30 in the AM can around too soon, the bio hazard hit the toilet to get rid of the Mexican meal we had last night – some genius thought it was a good idea, sponsored beer and Mexican food.  Once I had removed all the dead canaries from the room I headed to breakfast, all the characters were there (Shirley and Fat Bloke), we fueled up for the day ahead.  In the words of the Fairly King, it’s flat and a cruise

At Dawn – We Ride, and we headed off, now let’s get something straight from the beginning IT’S FLAT and 111ks, and I can sum it up quickly its FLAT and 111ks.  Now a lot of banter went on, and we saw Roos, hawks and snakes, but they tried to convince me this was Drop Bear country – but I wasn’t happening that’s out Perth way I believe.  So in between the ‘hole left, verge, hole left, hole left, brake, brake hole middle, brake, brake’ I discussed the bloody Ashes with about 28 different Skippies as we cruised 111ks – captive audience.

We cruised through the Australian countryside and one of the funniest thing happened.  We have a Doctor on the support crew who owns a practice and dedicates 10 days to Camp Quality to help the cyclist – well he hands out Nurofen not demanding if you ask me.  He decided to lie down and stretch out as we ride past, now Mother Nature has a thing called Green Ants, they bite and attack in numbers so my advice is don’t lie on them.  Now the colony has taken to the Docs rest break as an offence some might say an act of war and marched on mass.  The Doc had no other option but to strip off and do one of those dances our Dads does which was all caught on camera by our resident blind kid that take photos and flys drones.  Really, he is 50% blind but he lost another drone today on the river – that’s 10 I believe and his unique circumstances is loved by DJI Drones.

Its wasn’t just the Doc, the Wellbeing girls were doing Where’s Wally throughout the ride and the offence of drinking beer at the side of the road as we hit the last 2ks – not entertaining and they get fined every night.

Now we rolled into Grafton and parked the Carbon fibre stallion at the local Motel, 1000ks 4 Kids have the whole place and we make ourselves comfortable.  Its Sunday with Margarita Slushies on special and I think the Legends are settling in for the night.  Now there is a change of plans for tomorrow, we were going to do about 2000m of elevation but there is a bush fire her and the fireries have taken over the town so we have to reroute.  So there will be festivities tonight due to the rearranged itinerary.

By the way my back side is sore so it’s lucky I have two tins of Australian Essential Oils for cycling on hand to sort that little problem out.

Here’s Day 3 for your visual pleasure