THE REUNION…

Strap yourself in as it’s a car chase!

In 1980 a film hit the big screen that changed our lives forever, The Blues Brothers.  Directed by John Landis it stared John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd as Jake and Elwood Blues.  Set in Chicago it was pure madness for the vast majority of the film with some wild car chases to boot, but it also contained a one liner immortalised by John Belushi, ‘Hey Man, we’re getting the band back together” – well on Saturday 17^th November, 1000ks 4 Kids had its REUNION!!!

But first we need a build-up or literary foreplay as I like to term it.  On the day of the reunion, the Minister for War and Finance drove me to the Bradford Hotel with Lo and her bestie in tow.  With our eyes peeled scanning the horizon of Gods Own Country for bush fires as we travelled the 46ks to the Braddie – I kid you not.  Thankfully we arrived safe and sound but before I start my blog which has an ample sprinkling of exaggeration, I will first enlighten you with a handy fact, nah I will give you a miscellany of facts (Google it).

If I were to have walked alongside the Minister’s car placing Cavendish bananas end to end it would have taken me about eight hours to walk to the Braddie, needing 262,081 bananas and costing me roughly $185,464.50.  Also, we would have had to of hired a lorry as that many bananas would have come in 2621 boxes containing on average 100 bananas per box weighing 47.5 tonnes – oh yeah, I know its impressive.

So back to the reunion.  I swung open the doors to the Braddie like John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn in True Grit to see a room full of Skippie’s drinking craft beers and reminiscing about being Out on Parole, Its Minus Bloody Three and the Bus, Bus, Bus, Bus, Bus…….  As I entered, I remembered thinking this reminds me of that scene in An American Werewolf in London when the two sceptic pack packers (one wearing a bright red puffer jacket which didn’t draw attention to himself – eejit!) wonder into the Slaughtered Lamb from the Moors and all the locals go quiet and just looked at them.  Now I’ve set the scene and left with few options I did what any patriotic Pome would do in this situation, started singing ‘Barmy Army, Barmy Army’ ‘You couldn’t win the Ashes’…repeat, repeat.

Anyway, I got a cheeky in, a lemon, lime & bitters for the Minister and two fire engines for the girls and made my way to the mob (the collective noun for kangaroos) of Skippie’s who were laughing and joking.  Now I was not the only Pome as Cotswold Chris was chatting about his holiday in Bali (but refrained from singing) while the others just talked about the life-changing ride we had all just been through as a Constipation, and the atmosphere was buzzing.

Fat Bloke and Shirley Temple were holding court with Jacko the official half-blind photographer snapping mug shots as if he was on piece work for Wormwood Scrubs.  With social media being bombarded with photos of the ceiling and the odd ear the Fair Kiwi was mumbling his speech and preparing to hand out the BOOKS.  The big tutu wearing King and his team of helpers had been busy crafting a rememorate book of the ride which I must say was bloody brillyent and something I will keep as it has a saucy pic of Miss Fugly in it.  But my global audience the meandering road of Life that we all cycle is not always a smooth one, and has sections littered with potholes.  Cast your mind back to Fat Blokes crash where the road had that many potholes it loosened fillings and gave the old orchestras a battering (refer to At Dawn – We Ride if you are confused)

Back to cycling the meandering pothole ridden road of Life.  Ten years in the making my global audience, ten years and all I have to say is jam or should I say The Jam – an English Mod band formed in 1972 at Sheerwater Secondary School in Woking, Surrey.  The line-up for their first gig was Paul Weller and various mates from Sheerwater Secondary but then settled down to Weller, Steve Brookes and drummer Rick Buckler. Well in 1981, ten years after they formed Weller called it a day and went on to do his own thing with the Style Council and then solo.

Where’s the connection I hear you cry.  It is right here, 1000ks 4 Kids has come to an end in its tenth year, but as one door closes, another opens, and I give you a 1000ks4aCAUSE.

WHY?  I’m not across all the facts so cannot comment factually but let’s just say there was a misalignment in financial expectations in the desire to pursue the corporate dollar – large quantities of it I might add.  Discussions ensued comparing dollars to riders, rider ratios to the length of the Constipations and whether the core values of the riders were being undermined.  My personal view is that more money means more riders, more riders means more sponsorship equating to a bigger ride, and I can tell you Day 2 of this years ride was pretty darn scary.  So, what’s happening.  It is early days, but King and Queen are finalising the necessary arrangements to ride for a very deserving and local charity in 2020.  We are still looking to help kids suffering from cancer plus as many smaller causes as we can afford to in the Newcastle and Maitland region.

Training has begun as I believe a $400k charitable donation to local causes is better than sitting at home watching telly and eating pickled onion Monster Munch – or is it, god I miss Monster Munch and Irn Bru for that matter – I will be looking for sponsorship on that front.

So, to round things off a scene from Life of Brian that makes me laugh and has a loose association with this months blog – Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the ‘People’s Front of Judea’