Beware the Ides of March

Idus Martiae…that’s Latin by the way

For those of you that didn’t take Latin at school or had John Cleese as your teacher, wouldn’t know the word Ides derives from the Latin word meaning ‘to divide’ and according to the Romans, each calendar month has an Ides.  In March the Ides falls on the 15^th and was supposed to coincide with a full moon reflecting the lunar origin of the Roman calendar – but they cocked that up.

STOP, did you spot the relatively unknown fact that John Cleese of Monty Python fame was once a teacher.  Oh yes, he taught science, English, geography, history and Latin.  Cleese drew on his Latin teaching experience for the scene in Life of Brian in which he corrects Brian’s badly written Latin graffiti – FACT and that’s got to be worth a deep sea diver in sponsorship.

Anyway, cock ups aside, the Ides of March would have been the first full moon of the Roman new year.  Not needing an excuse to throw a party Romans would celebrate the new year by Jupiter’s high priest (Flamen Dialis) leading the Ides sheep along the Via Sacre to the Arx, where it was sacrificed – not the healthiest outcome for the sheep but I believe that was the done thing back in 44 BC.  Now the Ides of March was also the celebration of the Feast of Anna Perenna, where the festivities would include copious amounts of alcohol and whatever else took a Romans fancy and the Romans had an imagination but not as unusual as the Greeks, but that’s a whole other blog right there!

Back to the Ides of March.  Best known for the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC, stabbed to death by 60 of his Senate led by Brutus and Cassius in the Theatre of Pompey.  Now Caesar cannot say he wasn’t warned as a seer called Plutarch told him that harm would befall him on the Ides of March.  Well, on his way to the theatre Caesar bumped into Plutarch and joked ‘the Ides of March are come’ to which Plutarch replied ‘Aye, Caesar, but not gone.’ and the rest, as they say, is history

Well, Caesar’s demise by what can only be described as a multiple penetrating trauma (watching too much Silent Witness) was made into a book and a play by William Shakespeare, then a film in 1964 by the Carry On team called Carry On Cleo – 31 Carry On films were made between 1958 and 1992.  Here’s the link, in my blog entitled ‘The Review…’ I dropped a subtle hint that my blogs could be, and I quote, ‘easily transferred to book, theatre or the big screen’ – well I was thinking Carry On Cycling 4 1000ks – Mr Spielberg, you can mail as I don’t have an agent……yet.

Where am I going or Carrying On with this, well I’m in, yes, my global audience I have been accepted on this year’s 1000ks 4 Kids but its only 568ks (but a feck load of elevation!) due to CEO’gate.  Don’t hyperventilate and demand a refund (not that any of you lot have donated yet) but here’s the plan.  Five days of riding starting in Blayney NSW and finishing in Hinton BUT as part of my training I must do four group qualifier rides, and if you add them both together, I will be riding over a 1000ks 4 Kids.

Now that the natural order of things has been restored here some reasons to Beware the Ideas of March;

• Obviously, JC was assassinated in 44 BC.
• The French raided Southern England in 1360 – King Edward III reciprocated.
• A Samoan cyclone sinks 6 war ships in the harbor in Apia in 1889.
• Czar Nicolas II abdicates his throne in 1917.
• I have a specialist Endodontist appointment for root canal surgery, 2020.

Come on U Rs! Well we beat Preston North End 3-1 with 10 men but we were more like Queens Park Strangers!  Played like a right bunch of Muppets in the first half but the manager must have given them a rollicking as it was a different team in the second half.  We ended up taking all three points with two outstanding goals but with all games now postponed due to Covid-19 who knows what’s in store for the mighty Rs.

I know sport is insignificant to what is happening around the world.  Keep safe my global audience, look after the elderly and make sure your oldies are safe and comfortable and to those idiots that are stockpiling toilet roll – GET A GRIP!

I think Thomas Shelby sums it up quite eloquently – there is a few F’bombs thrown in for contextual purposes…….

What is the significance of 473?

Well its the combined age of Sir Elton John’s band on his world tour named Farewell Yellow Brick Road (I took the photo by the way with my phone – very artistic!).  So, the Minister for War & Finance and my good self went to see Sir Elton at the Western Sydney Stadium on Saturday 7^th March which was his final Australian gig.  Now I’m more of a rock man myself having bought tickets to see Ozzy Osbourne (who cancelled) and Metallica (who also cancelled) but the small print in the marriage contact stipulates mandatory attendance of some old fart tickling the ivories.  BUT I must say Reginald Kenneth Dwight can still pack a stadium with screaming fans hanging on his every song and at 72 he may not be able to dress flamboyantly or dance around the stage like a man possessed but he can put on a damn good show.

Sir Elton has too many awards and honors to mention here but what I found outstanding is that he has worked throughout with lyricist Bernie Taupin and they have collaborated on more than 30 albums.  He was appointed a CBE in 1995 and then knighted by the Queen in 1998 for his charity work which I think is a career worth celebrating – well done Sir Elton.

Pugh, Pugh……….

Gordon was the creator and puppeteer of the popular BBC children’s series Trumpton and died at the age of 95 but left behind The Trumptonshire Trilogy – Camberwick Green, Trumpton and Chigley.  For those of you who can remember and smile when you hear “Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb.” remember the good times.  For those of you who don’t have a clue what I’m going on about, here’s the low down.

Trumpton is a British stop-motion children’s television series first shown on the BBC in January 1967, its final episode in March and was the second series in the trilogy. The townsfolk would appear going around their daily business from Chippy Minton the carpenter to Miss Lovelace the milliner (makes hats!) and her three dogs Mitz, Daphne & Lulu.  But it was the fire brigade that is perhaps Trumpton’s most recognised feature – my global audience, I give you Captain Flack’s roll call:

Drum roll please……the moment you have been waiting for A Newbies’ blog reviews Cycliq’s Fly 12 CE and its comrade in arms (metaphorically speaking people!) the Fly 6 CE Gen2. 

Couldn’t be arsed bothered filming unboxing the bloody things cameras as that stuff really gets on my t*ts nerves and I found it too difficult holding my phone whilst filming, kept dropping it – only joking people.  So its unbox and for f*cks sake you get a load of sh*t attachments you didn’t f*ckin need but I appreciate that Cycliq are shifting this gear globally so every conceivable mount is required EXCEPT the one I really wanted which is a right royal pain in the arse – more on that later.

Decided to fit the Fly 6 first and what a f*ckin palaver that was as the Carbon Fibre Stallion has a narrow seat column and I now have an excess of Velcro, first world f*ckin problem which is annoying.  Leaving in the Velcro situation to future Craig as I’m losing my sh*t to worry about, I diverted my attention to the business end of the bike.  How the f*ck am I going to fit the Fly 12 onto my over crowd handlebars.  The lack of handlebar real estate poses a real problem that p*ssed me right off so I had to move my carbon fibre bell and remove my phone mount what the f*ck!.  With ample room I attach the Fly and all is good with the world apart from Covid f*cking 19 I might add.

The next pain in the arse task is to detach both Fly’s and insert the SD cards sh*t, I forgot to buy the f*ckin SD cards which I had bought in advance from JB HiFi.  All good, now upgrade the firmware via the desktop app which I didn’t know about but had to download after spending 20 f*ckin mins waiting for my PC to boot up was straight forward enough after I spent 45mins watching YouTube videos on which light setting was most f*ckin useful and we are all good to go.

Took them for a spin and the f*cking latch broke and I fell off my f*cking bike trying to catch the p*ssing camera and I noticed the bracket had broken slightly so I returned home and emailed Cycliq.  Who were really annoying as it took three f*ckin emails for them to give me a discount on the mount I really wanted great and they shipped me a discounted dual mount which killed two f*ckin birds with one stone helped with the handlebar real estate issue, all good.

My only con would be its seriously f*cking stressful trying to get a f*ckin tiny SD card in the Fly 6 with that f*cking stupid little plastic cover, sh*tty flap thing without dislodging the card every time you charge, oh and the mobile app is f*ckin useless by the way and I work in IT for f*cks sake!

I hope you liked my balanced and measured review of Cycliq’s Fly 12 & 6 combination and I might just review the next accessory I decide to buy for the Carbon Fibre Stallion – cheers.

Finally, just to prove I have not been lounging around the house like Mr Creosote from Monty Phython’s The Meaning of Life – thats that obese, rude restaurant patron who eats vast amounts of food and alcohol played by the late Terry Jones. After being persuaded to eat an after dinner mint – “it’s only wafer-thin” HE EXPLODES!

Bringing March to an end, I give you my Saturday morning training ride without even stopping for the customary coffee and banana bread – bloody Covid-19!!!!!